


You Are My Light in The Darkness

by urisarang



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Blood and Injury, Day 4: Impaling, FebuWhump2021, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Major Character Injury, No beta we die like...oh, Tagged Major Character Death so no one yells at me but it is open ended, The Mandalorian (TV) Season 2, The Mandalorian (TV) Spoilers, There is hope if you choose to see it, Whump, suffer as i have suffered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:55:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29238669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urisarang/pseuds/urisarang
Summary: He had Gideon on his knees, Grogu within reach, and a small flower of hope blooming in his chest.  Their time on the run and fearing for their lives was drawing to an end.  He was close, so very close to being okay.  To having his child back in his arms safely.Which is why it was all the more surprising to see the black/white blade of the darksaber sticking out of his stomach.
Relationships: Din Djarin & Grogu | Baby Yoda
Comments: 18
Kudos: 68
Collections: febuwhump 2021





	You Are My Light in The Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> yoooooo anyone who is here from my other Mando stories--LOOK AT THE TAGS. This is very, very different. 
> 
> This is not a happy story at all. It has an open ending and that is the best I can say. 
> 
> It has been living rent-free in my head since I saw the finale and I want it banished. Too bad the only way to do that is to unleash it upon the world.
> 
> For what it's worth, I am sorry.

“Take him then,” Gideon says turning off his darksaber and turning away. “I already have what I need, _it_ is more trouble than it’s worth.” 

Din stared hard at Gideon, this was too easy after all that the man had put them through. Chasing them across the galaxy and burning his covert to the ground. Killing or hurting anyone who got too close to Din. Countless innocents who just got in the way on Nevarro, on Omera’s world. 

Gideon is not a man to give up, not ever so why now?

Gideon raises his hands up in surrender and steps back out of melee range. There is no blaster on his hip and he’s all alone on the cruiser. He’s beat and he knows it, that must be why he’s giving up so easily.

There isn’t a single doubt in Din’s mind that if he lets Gideon go he’ll come back for them. For Grogu--despite what he says about having enough of his blood already. It would be a matter of saving face if nothing else. 

It would be better to kill him where he stands. He is no Jedi like Ahsoka so Din very much doubts he could parry a blaster shot in close quarters. Din’s grip on his blaster tightens, he’s tired. So tired of being on the run.

It would be so much easier for him, and for Grogu if Gideon were dead.

But it would go against the code to kill an unarmed man who has already surrendered. Din has already broken the code in ways he never thought possible. To do so like this? Would be unforgivable. 

Reprehensible.

After the unexpected kindness Mayfeld had shown him on Morak. . .it would be spiting on his ancestors to break the creed further, and to do it in such a dishonorable way? He can’t. 

His grip on the blaster loosens and he turns to where Grogu lays on his side exhausted. It sets his blood to a boil to see manacles--shock manacles--around those tiny wrists. If he were any other man he would kill Gideon for this alone. But how can he hope to raise Grogu as his foundling if he loses his Way? What example would he set for the little one?

No, as much as the rage inside him wants to he can’t kill Gideon. At least, not like this.

Grogu blinks up at him groggily and Din smiles under his helm. He had worried--had thought he would not get to see the kid, _his_ kid again. Tiny hands reach out to him, one of Grogu’s sad, needy sounds coming from his throat. 

Din’s heart, already broken, shatters at the sound of his child’s cries. He has not done his duty as his _Buir_ and his foundling has suffered for it. He could not prevent this, could not stop Gideon from taking Grogu away. That he was able to save him is of no consequence, this should not have been allowed to happen in the first place.

Moisture prickles at the side of his eyes, but he will not let it fall. Not here, not now. He will have the rest of his life to apologize and atone for his sins after he has Grogu safely away from this place. 

Din reaches out to take the manacles off of Grogu but the kid moves back. A sound of distress coming from him--it’s the only warning Din has but it comes too late.

The air is ripped from his lungs as a slice of firey ice runs through him. His insides are on fire and frozen at the same time as nerves become overwhelmed and die by the hundreds. He looks down and sees the black/white glow of the darksaber sticking out through his midsection below the plate of beskar that protects his vital organs. 

He stares dumbly down at the blade of plasma sticking out of him in disbelief. For so long he’s relied upon his beskar, his reflexes, and his training only to be felled in a moment of weakness. Din’s eyes blink slowly as he looks at the blade, watches helplessly as Gideon rips it back out of him only to strike again from the side.

He lets out a muffled grunt too quiet for the mic in his helmet to pick up. This second strike lands true. Din can feel the icy burn touching places inside him that no man could hope to survive. Just as quickly as the burning starts it stops as Gideon pulls the darksaber out. Din, already on his knees falls to the ground on his side, his hands curling uselessly around his stomach.

Expecting a final blow he turns his helmet, wanting the last thing he sees to be Grogu. It takes almost everything in him just to tilt his head up, and it takes long, far too long for his eyes to focus through the pain. But what he sees cannot be. Perhaps he is already sliding into death, his mind conjuring up a magical story for his last moments.

Blue lightning arcs from tiny clawed fingers. The light from the impossible lightning casts dark shadows across the room. Din watches as a shadowed figure falls to the ground but the lightning doesn’t stop. 

The moving blue light cascades across Grogu’s face, the shadows twisting his features into something else. Something dark. This is no dream spawned from Din’s dying mind.

This is a nightmare.

He opens his mouth to call out but chokes on the blood that is slowly filling his lungs. The darksaber had only mostly cauterized his wounds, what little was missed would kill him before long. He coughs and spits dark blood against the inside of his helmet as he tries to clear his lungs.

He doesn’t need much, just a moment, just one breath to call out. To stop Grogu, to keep him from becoming lost to his hatred and fear. 

Grogu’s ear twitches at the muffled sounds coming from Din. He turns to face Din and the look in his eyes? It makes the tears he’s held back finally fall. His face normally so sweet and loving is twisted in hate and rage. 

He’s never seen Grogu like this before. There have been glimpses of the darkness within, the long buried consequences of his past--but not like this. 

There is real hatred in those eyes.

But they blink, then blink again and along with the lightning, the hatred disappears. Grogu cries out, and Din’s heart cries with him. Din’s eyes close as the tears fall, his breath a harsh too fast panting echoing within his helmet. 

He doesn’t have long so he better make his time count. 

With a grunt of pain, he lifts his arm and fumbles until he is able to push his helmet back away from his face. He doesn’t want to let Grogo grow up never knowing the face of his _Buir_ , as Din had. The sound of his helmet hitting the ground rings out in the room, too loud. 

It can be heard rolling away and coming to a stop returning the room to near silence. The only sounds are Din’s too shallow, too fast breathes. He can feel liquid, his own lifeblood, rising as it slowly fills his lungs. He can’t get a deep breath in without choking on it.

He wonders if he’ll drown or bleed out first.

A wail from Grogu has Din’s eye refocusing on this world rather than looking to the next. Tiny hands reach out for his face, his ears drooping low, and tears shine in his eyes too. It hurts to see his kid like this, but it touches his heart that he would care so much.

Din’s eyes close against his will as he feels his child’s touch for the first time against his skin. Grogu is so careful with his claws, so gentle not that Din would care if he weren’t. 

Everything below his chest is a mix of agony and numbness. He hasn’t felt his legs since the second strike of the darksaber, which would be worrying if he had any hopes of survival. But even bacta has its limits, and there is no one near to provide it even if there was enough on the ship to save him. 

Grogu pulls back, his tiny little face serious. He looks down at Din’s stomach, determined despite the tremors of exhaustion shaking his frame. 

“No,” his voice is barely a whisper of breath, and it costs him dearly to get even that much out. Grogu turns to look at him, his defiant, angry face in full force. “No,” Din repeats as strong as he can, though he feels as weak as an infant. 

“It’s--It’s too much. Too late,” Grogu tilts his head, he doesn’t understand. He refuses to understand reaching again towards Din’s wounds. Din’s fingers twitch by his face, he doesn’t have the strength to lift his hand anymore. 

“Please,” he begs fresh tears streaming down his face. He couldn’t bear the thought of Grogu hurting himself to try and save him. He’s seen how hard it is on Grogu’s little body, and after the lightning. . .

“Please don’t,” he repeats, fingers aching to grab and hold onto Grogu. To stop him, to hold him near. 

Grogu’s face screws up and his ears fall to drag across the ground but he stops reaching. The sound he makes, Din needs no translation for. That is the cry only those who have lost a loved one would make. 

Din has made the same sound himself when he lost his _Buir_.

Grogu throws himself at Din, hugging his face with his entire body. Din’s eyes slide shut as their foreheads meet in _kov'nyn_ for the first, and last time. 

It is everything he has ever wanted, and more. 

He only wishes that he could return the embrace. To cling tightly to the one thing, the one person who means more to him than anything else. 

“I--I love you,” his throat catches on words he’s never before spoken but has long felt. He has felt this love since well before he had even known Grogu’s name. 

He had tried so hard to not care. To harden himself so that when they were destined to part it would not be so hard. But in all the ways he imagined them going their separate ways, this was not one. He thought he was doing both of them a favor by trying to be detached, but all he was doing was hurting them both.

Regret fills him at every moment that has come and past where he did not utter the words that lived in his heart for Grogu. A child should know that he is loved, that he is wanted but time and time again he had fought to stay neutral.

A lifetime of regrets, but in his last moments he can make up for some. It’s not enough, not nearly enough for what he owes to Grogu for making his life worth living after so long of merely surviving. 

He reopens his eyes, the room is darker now. Darker than it should be. The edges of his vision a black that slowly creeps in. 

Not long now.

Grogu’s mouth moves but Din is too far gone for sounds. Too far gone to even feel the little hands against his cheeks. He stares into those big round eyes as a sense of peace falls over him. 

There is no greater honor for a Mandalorian than to die in defense of a foundling. Though their journey began with much shame and evil, it will end with love and one final act of goodness. 

He could ask for no more. He only hopes that Cara takes Grogu far, far away and finds someone kind to raise him. Maybe to someone like Omera, Grogu deserves a home like that. 

The room is nearly black now, the pauses between his breaths growing longer. His heart slowing and he can’t even focus on his child’s face as he starts to slip away from this world and into the next.

A bright green light cuts through the darkness. It’s beautiful, this must be the light so many had spoken of. He smiles, glad that his light is green--his favorite, just like his son. 

The smile slowly fades from his face just as the world too fades to black.

**Author's Note:**

> Now, I am a horrible person--but I like to think Luke got there in time to save him. Since force healing is the new jazz of the Disney era. But I'll leave that up for you to decide.


End file.
